This Burns my Heart: It Hurts so Good

this burns my heart cover image
Simon & Schuster, 2011. 322 pages

 Title: This Burns my Heart

Author: Samuel Park

Synopsis: Simon and Schuster already made a video that sums the novel up perfectly.

 

Book Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, domestic servitude, dystfunctional family

Rating: 5 stars!!

First Impression upon Finishing:   I am completely and utterly destroyed.

 

The Review:   This Burns my Heart delivers on its promise. The story begins with Soo-Ja wanting to get away from her controlling father. In the 1950s and 1960s, South Korea still followed a Confucian family system. Families favored sons over daughters, and daughters were the property of their fathers before becoming the property of the men in their husband’s family. South Korean society considered women who lost their virginity before marriage to be”spoiled.” Women who could not bear sons meant nothing.

 

Soo-Ja had plan to escape her father, but that plan quickly falls apart (in large part due to her father) and Soo-Ja hastily forms a plan B. Her only chance of being recognized as her own person rested in her ability to marry well. However, she makes a rash decision and jumps into a marriage she really shouldn’t have. The marriage continued to be the source of her agony (through various means) until the end of the book.

 

When the reader first meets Min Lee (the “supporting” character of the novel), we’re deceived into believing he’s a sweet, awkward boy. We see the same side of Min that Soo-Ja sees. Very quickly, though, his problematic behavior and his general incompetency come to light. By the time Soo-Ja was ready to marry him, I was bracing myself for the worst. I knew nothing good could come of them being together.

 

I completely understood Soo-Ja’s motivations. After all, I’m doing the same thing right now. Still, I was angry with her lack of planning and her execution. She claimed to be smart, yet she let her desperation get the best of her and made foolish decisions. She assumed she could mold a “guileless” boy to her will, which is a statement to her arrogance at the time. It didn’t take her long to realize her mistake, but she couldn’t divorce Min Lee without losing a part of herself. After realizing her situation was hopeless, she decides to try to love him, but in the process she tangles the rest of her family into her messy life.

 

I was angry with Soo-Ja until the middle of the book, when my hatred of Min Lee took over. Soo-Ja and Min Lee had a daughter to worry about; Soo-Ja couldn’t afford to make mistakes. By then, she had learned to better control her emotions when making decisions. By then, she’d also been tread upon by every one of her family members except her mother and daughter.

 

Min Lee was weak-willed and manipulative. Part of me understood his attitude towards Soo-Ja and Hana had a lot to do with the way he was raised. Min Lee’s father was even more abusive that Soo Ja’s father. While some people grow up unaware of their abuse and are therefore unable to fully heal from it, Min Lee knew his father was a horrible person. However, he’d been so brainwashed into being the perfect Confucian son that his ability to heal was greatly limited.

 

After the midpoint, my hatred softened to pity, and I wholeheartedly wanted to see Soo-Ja finally start winning, but Park did not yield. She experienced massive character growth, but Park kept dealing blows to my soul. He strung my along until the every end, and even the ending felt… wrong. Yet, but the time I got there, I was so happy Soo-Ja got ~something~.  Park took us through tales of fleeing the war, through abusive alcoholic men, through attempted sexual assault, death and bankruptcy before Soo-Ja finally started to “win.” Even still, after being punched in the gut for 300 pages, the last few leaves are a sigh of relief.

 

I HIGHLY recommend reading This Burns My Heart. It was a brutal read, but I literally couldn’t put it down. I read it almost in a single breath. Samuel Park’s posthumous (semi-autobiographical) novel, The Caregiver hit the shelves yesterday (September 25th). Considering Park’s brilliant knack for storytelling, I’m sure The Caregiver will be just as impactful as This Burns My Heart. 

 

I’ d love to hear from any one who’s read Park’s other work. I’d also like to see your recs for similar books. 🙂

 

This Burns My Heart links: Amazon | Thriftbooks | AbeBooks | Goodreads

The Caregiver links: Amazon | Goodreads

Thriftbooks discount code: Click Here

 

 

Song of Blood and Stone Review & Author Q & A!

Hey birdies, long time no see! *nervous laughter*

I came back from the dead to take part in L. Penelope’s Song of Blood and Stone blog tour.  To be honest, I thought I’d snagged a copy of Children of Blood and Bone (by Tomi Adeyemi), but by the time I realized my mistake I’d already signed up for the blog tour. I figured I’d give the book a try; the premise was interesting enough:

 

“Orphaned and alone, Jasminda lives in a land where cold whispers of invasion and war linger on the wind. Jasminda herself is an outcast in her homeland of Elsira, where her gift of Earthsong is feared. When ruthless soldiers seek refuge in her isolated cabin, they bring with them a captive–an injured spy who threatens to steal her heart.

Jack’s mission behind enemy lines to prove that the Mantle between Elsira and Lagamiri is about to fall nearly cost him his life, but he is saved by the healing Song of a mysterious young woman. Now he must do whatever it takes to save Elsira and it’s people from the True Father and he needs Jasminda’s Earthsong to do it. They escape their ruthless captors and together they embark on a perilous journey to save Elsira and to uncover the secrets of The Queen Who Sleeps.”

 

In the end, L. Penelope really delivered with this novel.

 

The Review

When I actually got around to reading Song of Blood and Stone, I’d forgotten the premise. Within the first few pages, it became clear to me that Jasminda, a dark-skinned citizen, is an outcast among her light-skinned peers. She suffers humiliation and discrimination at the hands of countrymen who refuse to believe she belongs there. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? My immediate recognition of Jasminda’s plight drew me into the novel.

 

In the beginning, Jasminda’s ferocity, intelligence and strength of character are the center of focus. She’s determined to keep the rights to her land and make a life for herself, despite the government working against her. She knows how to navigate the mountains and make herbal medicine, and she even stops to heal an Elsiran, despite having no real reason to do so. When the Lagrimari soldiers invade her house and attempt to abuse both her an Jack, she doesn’t hesitate to defend herself with whatever weapons she could find.

 

Later, as Jasminda falls in love with Jack and as she starts to take on more responsibility to saving the country, Jasminda’s original fire seems to die a little (booo ☹️). She fails to connect dots and starts making stupid mistakes that threaten her life more than once. Jack’s thoughts, motivations and emotions take center stage, and his motivations almost always have to do with keeping Jasminda near him.

 

Fortunately, the “save-the-world” storyline isn’t completely lost in the “star-crossed lovers” subplot. Though L. Penelope’s set up leaves no doubt as to how the novel will end, the execution was near-flawless and I found myself literally gasping as all of the threads came together. I was so engrossed in the action I stayed up until 3 AM one night to finish the last 100 pages.

 

Was Song of Blood and Stone perfect? No, not by a long shot. I received an uncorrected advance reader copy, so I’ll leave comments about awkward word choices and sentence fragments out of my assessment. Instead, I’ll focus on the actual content.

 

For one, the main plot was too predictable. Fortunately, there are plenty of subplots and secondary characters to focus on, which make the story all around more interesting. Second, each chapter begins with “collected folktales,” which are L. Penelope’s version of Aesop’s Fables for Song of Blood and Stone. While I commend her for the effort, I often found the folktales confusing and distracting. If I put thought into it, I probably could have figured them out, but as the action in the novel got more intense I was less willing to put my mental energy into decoding the folktales. Lastly, Jack and Jasminda’s characters are both rather flat. They experience very little character growth throughout the novel. Song of Blood and Stone is the first novel in the Earthsinger series, so I sincerely hope they develop more over the course of the saga.

 

All in all I’d give this book 4.5 stars. It had its flaws, but I found it incredibly difficult to put down and I don’t regret reading it. Be forewarned: there are multiple detailed (but not explicit) descriptions of sex throughout the novel. People who are triggered by tales of discrimination, race wars, wartime violence, refugee camps, family death and rape might want to proceed with caution.

 

I recommend Song of Blood and Stone to people who enjoys tales of magic, afro-futurism connection with nature. I’d also recommend it to anyone looking for a strong(ish) black female protagonist. Though St. Martin’s Press classifies the book as YA, the themes are mature and suitable for an older audience as well.

 

Song of Blood and Stone goes on sale today. If you plan on grabbing a copy, I’d be greatly appreciative if you purchase it through my Amazon link. You’re under no obligation to do so, but the few cents I earn on every novel are helpful to me and cost you nothing. 🙂 For more purchasing options, visit the book’s page on the St. Martin’s Press website. Undecided? Check out other people’s reviews on Goodreads.

 

Like most of my books, I received this ARC from St. Martin’s press via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. If you think this review is too positive to be honest, check out some of my other reviews. I promise I’m not always so nice, haha.

 

The Q & A

Penelope, L._CREDIT Valerie BeyDue to the nature of the blog tour, some of these questions and answers may be the same as on other blogs. I’ve included both my questions and the general Q & A put forth in the Song of Blood and Stone press release.

 

1. What inspired you to write this series? What came first: The characters or the world? What was your inspiration for the magic of Earthsong? Were you inspired by other books? Movies?

When I first wrote this book, up until the time I gave it to my first editor, I thought it was going to be a novella. It was always meant to be a fairytale-esque story of a girl’s journey from the margins of society straight to its upper echelons. The characters Jack and Jasminda were there before the world was ever clear in my mind. The first scene I wrote was the one where they meet in front of her cabin. I knew they were from different, warring countries and they came from very different sorts of lives, but that was all. Through the magic of revision (lots and lots of revision) I discovered the journey that the characters would go on and all the conflicts they would face.

 

I love fantasy and there were so many inspiring series that I soaked in prior to writing the book, from Graceling* by Kristin Cashore to Seraphina by Rachel Hartman. But I think this book owes its biggest inspiration to the Lumatere Chronicles by Melina Marchetta. Her fantasy world felt well realized and complex, filled with incredibly detailed characters, groups, nations, and settings. But I also wanted to write a kinder, gentler fantasy novel that wouldn’t double as a doorstopper. And mix in a really strong romance like some of my favorites Nalini Singh or Kresley Cole.

*Sarabi’s note: Graceling  is also a great series. I remember loving it in high school. 

 

 

2. What were your favorite scenes to write for SONG OF BLOOD AND STONE? What was the hardest scene to write? Is there a scene or moment that really sticks with you?

Though Usher, Jack’s valet, spends relatively little time on the page, I loved writing the scenes with him and Jack. When two characters have known each other for a long time, it can be really fun to play with how to show their relationship. Usher has known Jack his entire life and so the way they interact is unique. I also loved writing the visions that Jasminda gets from the stone. They were in a different voice, from a totally different perspective and the peeked in on a vibrant, fully formed world that’s different to the one of the main story. Hardest to write were the ones where Jasminda is confronted with the racism and bias of Elsirans.

 

The scene that sticks with me is when Jack and Jasminda are in the army base and he sleeps on the ground beside her, holding her hand. I find it really sweet and romantic.

 

3. How involved were you in the cover art process?

Since this book was initially self-published, and St. Martin’s Press decided to keep the cover when I signed Song of Blood & Stone_cover imageon with them, I was extremely involved in the cover art process. I choose the designer after over a year of looking for the right artist, while I was writing the book. And that was probably the best decision I made. He was fantastic, and took all of my notes and ideas and created a cover that I just wasn’t ready for. It seriously blew my mind the first time I saw it.

 

4. Is there a character in SONG OF BLOOD & STONE that you most relate to? How do you select names of your characters?

I think Jasminda represents various aspects of myself both as I am and as I’d like to be. She’s definitely bolder than I am, but her struggle to feel a part of things is one that I understand.

 

As for naming my characters, for each nation, I asked questions about how the names should generally work. Things like: which prefixes and suffixes are common? Which letters and sounds are prevalent? Which letters or sounds either don’t exist or are more rare? So the Elsirans have a lot of double vowels in their names. Qs, Vs, and Zs are prominent, but there are no hard Cs.

 

Lagrimari names generally don’t use Js. I set up which suffixes were for men and women and the types of sounds the names would have. There are only 9 last names in Lagrimar, corresponding with the Houses. Jasminda as a name is an exception. Her parents didn’t follow the naming conventions of either country for her or her brothers. Because their interracial relationship was unique, they wanted their children’s names to be distinctive as well.

 

. Have you heard Emily Wapnick’s TED talk about being a multipotentialite? Both the talk and your bio really resonate with me, because I’m also interested in doing many different things. Do you or did you find it difficult to switch careers and make all of your interests work together?

I hadn’t heard of that before, but I listened to the TED talk and wow! Mind blown! I’ve found my people J It can absolutely be hard having so many different interests. Right now, I’m trying to figure out how I can start taking Krav Maga classes and obstacle course racing classes at the local Ninja Warrior gym. While I continue to rock climb and practice with my piano lessons app and still have time to make websites and write books! I can’t do all the things! It’s frustrating. But usually things happen in cycles, because they need to. At one period in my life, it was relatively easy to get a group of people together and make a short film—these days it’s much tougher. So I do other things.

 

And if/when you are making money from your interests, focusing becomes easier. The closest deadline gets the most attention. When deadlines converge, however, you’re in for some rough days, and some things you just need to let go of. For me, that aligns with when those things stop making me happy. I’m in a constant juggling act of letting something old go to make room for a new interest or opportunity, but life is cyclical like that. And if you think of it as your super power instead of a detriment, you can use your power for good!

 

6. What advice would you give aspiring authors, especially authors or color, striving to have their stories and truths shared?

I would tell aspiring authors to really investigate your goals and be frank with yourself about why you want to do this. It’s a difficult path emotionally, creatively, and professionally and what will get you through the low points is being very clear about your “why”. It can also be incredibly rewarding, but knowing what you’re getting yourself into is key.

 

Writing and publishing are two different disciplines. Your “why” will inform whether you pursue traditional publishing or seek to self-publish. It will keep you going through rejections, delays, bad reviews, disappointment, and the imposter syndrome that we all go through.

 

The other very important thing is to have a community to fall back on. Whether that’s a chapter of a professional organization like RWA, SFWA, SCWBI, and others, or a Facebook group, critique group, or writer’s circle, having others to commiserate and celebrate with you makes the journey much easier.

 

I’d like to thank L. Penelope for taking the time to answer blogger questions. 🙂 

 

The Prayer Rug

prayer rug image
2015. Black Rose Writing. 155 Pages.

The Prayer Rug
By: H.M. Hymas
2 stars

This review was originally published on Muslimah Media Watch.

I really wanted to like this book. I love to hear lesser-told narratives, and this one checked all the boxes: it features a female protagonist and Muslim characters. More specifically, the characters are Iraqi, and I’ve never read a story that features Iraqi people. In short, The Prayer Rug follows Reem and her family as they struggle to maintain their sense of home in Iraq while it is being invaded by American Forces. Reem clings to her prayer rug—whose rhythmic presence is not as central to the novel as one might expect—as a symbol of faith, struggle, and progress. Unfortunately, the book fell flat. The writing is clumsy, the “plot twists” are obvious, and the characters feel more like caricatures.

In terms of word choice, The Prayer Rug was pretty easy to read. The phrases are short and the words are simple. So simple, in fact, that I found myself getting bored. Hymas frequently repeated words and phrases, a device that would have worked well had the repeated words come from the same character’s mouth, but the phrases seem to be playing round-robin throughout the book, which is not only confusing but also uninventive. Rather than letting the events of the novel speak for themselves, Hymas uses character commentary to move through the plot. As a result of the repetition and transparency, I quickly learned which phrases signaled an upcoming tragedy or plot reversal. Several times,  Reem comments that “Today is going to be a good day,” right before tragedy strikes. The attempts to the reader away from the plot “twist” are painfully obvious. Reem makes daily trips to the market. The first time she goes, she pauses to ask herself, “Will the market be safe today?” Reem then explains that the market is often the target of terrorist activity. The second time Reem goes to the market, a couple of chapters later, she once again pauses to ask, “Will it be safe today?” before reiterating the dangers of the market. The reiterations seems to imply that readers cannot retain information for longer than a couple of pages. Inevitably, the market becomes the dangerous place it’s worked up to be, and of course Reem doesn’t see it coming, despite being aware of the possibility.

Throughout the novel, characters changed so quickly and so frequently that I often found myself re-reading previous passages to make sure I understood them correctly. For instance, in one chapter, Reem checks the road for explosive devices while taking her children to school. She notes that her children are so used to the exercise they no longer ask her about it. In a later chapter, though, Reem pauses to assess a public area for danger (I’m being intentionally vague here to avoid spoilers) and her daughter asks why she stopped. Through Reem we discover that her daughter has only known the war, and that Reem’s older son has spent the majority of his life in the warzone. Still, her son doesn’t seem to comprehend the dangers of walking recklessly in the road and consorting with strangers. When his parents discuss who is fighting and why, it seems as if he is hearing this information for the first time, despite his being a teenager. While it is possible that he would be ignorant of the specifics of the war, Reem and Azzam (her husband) discuss the war so frequently I find it hard to believe their son hasn’t learned anything about it during his lifetime.

Perhaps the thing I found most appalling about the book was the blatant political agenda. We get it; the war in Iraq ruined people’s lives. Show us, don’t tell us. The characters repeated some version of the phrase “things were better before the Americans came” ad nauseum. Even as they repeated this mantra, they continued to detail the terrible reign of Saddam Hussein. This dual treatment leaves readers in limbo. On the one hand, readers are supposed to believe that the American occupation in Iraq ruined the lives of the Iraqi people. On the other hand, they are supposed to believe that Saddam Hussein was the one who ruined the lives of the Iraqi people. One gets the impression that Iraq would be better off with no governmental system, but history tells us that doesn’t work either.

Fortunately, Reem herself is a somewhat respectable character. She is depicted as a pious, loving wife and mother, who does everything she can to ensure the safety and relative comfort of her family, even if it means making sacrifices. Of all the characters, Reem seems the most human. She suffers grief, pain, and fear, but she also enjoys hope, joy, and thankfulness. Like the other characters, Reem’s character is deficient in the areas of dialogue and thought narration, but Hymas succeeded in creating a strong female Muslim leading character. Though Reem depends on her husband to provide an income for the family, she is neither oppressed by, subservient to, nor entirely dependent upon him. Reem makes it clear both to her family and to the reader that no matter what happens to her on Earth, she will always be able to turn to God.

I was excited to see some Islamic thought peppered throughout the book: why we pray, why we fast, why we (some of us) wear hijab. Regrettably, these aspects were dropped into the story, rather than woven in, and Hymas only touched on the basics without addressing the shades of meaning and variations in practice. In a book that spends so much time talking about Sunni/Shi’a conflict, discussing the differences would have been easy. While the differences aren’t exactly integral to the plot, having some idea why Reem’s family (who is Sunni) might be persecuted by her predominately Shi’a neighbors would have deepened the narrative. On some level, I’m glad the author didn’t attempt this; based on the shallow plot and poor characterization, I can tell he wouldn’t have done the topic justice.

Frankly, I’m glad I received this for free, in ebook format. The cover, title, and subject matter would have lured me into buying the book and I would have been frustrated I wasted my money. I cannot openly recommend this book because it has serious structural issues, but at the same time I’d like to recommend it to readers because it’s a book that deals with both women and Islam, and the world needs more of those narratives. Even horribly constructed narratives are welcome, because they encourage discussion. Hopefully, in the future, those narratives will be something worth reading.

I received a free copy of the H.M. Hymas’s The Prayer Rug from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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